He told me it’ll only hurt at first. He told me it won’t take long. He told me it’ll make things better.
Sure, at the beginning, it hurts. Then it hurts more. Then it hurts so much. It hurts too much until it hurts no more.
We see people on the streets.
Everywhere in everyday.
Although these people we see are living,
Some of us are dead inside.
If you look through the windows of my body,
You’ll see the ruin in me.
Death lives within me.
He resides in my body.
Death took one look and one look only.
He saw I was falling apart.
He saw things crashing down within me.
He saw hope running low from me.
He saw where he could be.
He knew what I’m going through
And that’s when he decided where he’ll stay.
He offers me his company
For the times I was down and lonely.
Then finally he asked me to let him stay.
He told me it’ll only hurt at first.
He told me it won’t take long.
He told me it’ll make things better.
My body as his shelter
In exchange for my pain and sadness to go away.
Death wants to dominate this body,
So first, he touched the armor of my strength—it rots.
It made the pain unbearable for there is no strength to endure.
Second, he put out the flame of my kindness.
Death doesn’t like warmth, so he made everything cold.
Third, he flick off the switch of my emotions
For pain and sadness to be no more.
Lastly, he blew the little candle of hope in me.
Death likes darkness so he puts out anything that glows.
I know I’ve decided this.
I know this is my own doing.
I’ve turned myself into something so pitiful.
I gave up on myself and let others take authority.
I thought this is better
Not feeling anything at all
I thought this is cooler
Not caring about a single soul
I forgot that I have my own soul too
Now, look into my eyes, I scream for help.
You think she lied when she told you she took up some drugs.
You think she’s kidding when she showed you all her needle marks,
Although she likes to tell some stories, she’s not making up.
I hope she’ll make it through today and when things get bad.
She’s put out like a candle on a windy day
She’s drowning like a coin in the sea
She may be ruined but she is evergreen
She’s breaking through the concretes and the paint
She smiles, she laughs
She needs to act that she is tough.
She aches, she burns
But none will see; she covered up the cracks.
She jokes around, you think she’s fine
She ran out of luck
You never knew she drink away her sorrow in the happy mart.
You thought she knew to never really trust those guys
Now she’s smoking in the car, drinking beer and getting high.
You hoped she’ll make it home by dawn alright — safe and sound.
She was your friend.
Remember when you befriended her ’cause she was new,
And the time you gave her a rose on her 21st?
But that is now only a memory, part of the history of you and her.
You said you loved me. You said you wanted to be with me.
You said you’ll stay with me forever.
You told me you were true yet I heard you utter the same things to her. You said you’ll be late for dinner then I saw you dine with her.
You said you’ll be home late because of work but I saw you walk down that club with her.
I asked you once what you wanted for Christmas, and you told me you would have anything and you want it like how I usually wrap it –in silk with a red ribbon. Now I lay, dressed in silk and the reddest of red around my wrist becomes the ribbon that comes with it.
Merry Christmas dear, i know you’ll be with her tonight.