The need for company

My utmost need for a company

Isn’t my heart’s desperate plea

It is for my safety

And my mind’s sanity

Some thoughts I have are uncanny

I could and would act strangely

The other side of me

You don’t want to see

To be left alone with my thoughts

Is a dangerous place to be

It whispers insanity

It entices me to play with reality

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Enough

I want to write about you
—but my hands refuse to scribble words,
my mind refuses to construct thoughts,
even my tongue refuses to articulate your name.

I want to write about the pain
—but my tears tell me it was enough,
my hiccups tell me it has been too much
my lips tell me it’s time to pull them up.

I want to rest my breaking heart
—it only tells me ‘Please take care of me,
don’t give me away too easily,
I’m your life and not just some property.’

Un-Me

Once in a blue moon,
I’d do things differently.
I’d have someone braid my hair.
I’d paint my nails black.
I’d joke constantly
And laugh till I’m gasping for air.

Once in a blue moon,
I’d do a prank or play a trick.
I’d lie and deceive.
I’d tickle you for no reason.
I’d be mad in an instant
And be sweet in the next.

Once in a blue moon,
I’d contemplate on life.
I’d question creation.
I’d stare into space.
I’d wish for things to be different
And be content for it to stay the same.

Once in a blue moon,
You’ll witness a different part of me.
You’ll ask yourself if I am who I claim to be.
You’ll tilt your head and wonder.
You’ll be surprised or be confused
But still accept me for who I am.

Phantom

There I sat
—with them, by my side.
Both exchanged words,
the other talked to another.
I speak only to be ignored.

There I stood,
With my whole being.
Their eyes not seeing mine.
Their senses dulled my presence.
I exist only to be forgotten.

There I walked
—on the lonely road.
My heart lightened up.
For there, I —the phantom
I become— belong.

For my love

a blank page for me to write
a page-full of what i feel inside
though these feelings i couldn’t completely convey
let this phrase carry my message and stay

a blank page for me to describe
a person who’s always by my side
though these words i couldn’t properly find
know that you are always in my mind

a blank page for someone who breathes poetry
a page for you to fill masterfully
though this piece of art i would rarely see
let this year be the start of your symphony